Get off the road!

I'm actually talking to myself. 

'Cause one day, I will not only be an old lady, I'll be an Asian old lady. 

I'll be a menace with my inability to see over the steering wheel and my cautious 10-below-the-speed-limit-max!

I'm already embarrassed to be on the road!

My windshield is cracked, rear boot dented and wheels missing various layers of

 do-it-yourself paint.

I know what you're thinking when you drive behind me: 

"I'll bet that driver's a chick. Look at the state of that dent!"

I know because I would picture some teenage female on her cell-phone driving such a heap.

So I compensate - I drive 10 over the speed limit and I sit tall enough for my Asian bun to peak through my sunroof. 

For now, I promise to remove myself from the road when that bun doesn't reach the top of the driver's seat and I'm too afraid to go anywhere near the speed limit. 

and I apologize in advance...