Which brings us to the cliché's. "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." If I didn't believe that, I'm positive that fear would dictate everything starting with only drinking purified water from a Brita. I have watched fear cripple children and mothers alike. The common result is disappointment. Whenever I have let fear enter my decision making or keep me from an experience, it takes me ages to recover. I inevitably have flash backs of my embarrassment or predictions of my inability to succeed. I get stuck.
PHILOSOPHY: When fear enters my life, I see it as a green light. It can mean one of two things:
1) Evil forces (which I know to be the devil and his minions) are trying to prevent you from the glorious experience around this painful corner. Press on!
2) You have experienced this discomfort before. Identify the source as the warning it is and redirect your momentum to avoid re-making unnecessary mistakes.
The first is a cop-out, a way for me to stay comfortable longer. It also opens the floodgates of justification:
"If I don't fail, I don't experience pain."
"I will just try again when I don't have so much going on."
"I'm not really ready yet."
"What if....."
"My life is fine the way it is."
I am challenging myself to keep track of how many times I have let fear stand in my way. THEN I want to measure the amount of time and opportunities lost as a result. Why would I ever ask for regret when I can recognize this cycle in myself and use it as a driving force through any fears.
The second green light is the answer to the problems I encounter when I hit the brakes at the first. What stopped me the first time? Was that delay a necessary experience? Can I learn something from this and turn it into a strength? Should I fear this same instance in the future or see it as a warning and walk by undeterred?
If I can't appreciate the blessing of identifying and learning from other's mistakes then I will most certainly make my own over and over again. I'm sorry, but that sounds idiotic, and I would prefer to feel empowered while not looking stupid to myself and people I respect and love if I can help it. So here it is:
Fear is an un-Godlike, undesirable attribute. We have to experience it to appreciate the joy of a life without fear. Then we can use it as a warning to keep us clear of experiences that can destroy us. I want to avoid delays in my progress as a worthwhile human being, so fear is something I cannot allow into my life. I control my response to fear. I choose to plow forward without it.
Amen.
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