overwhelmed?
hungry?
pensive?
heartbroken?
nostalgic?
i'm pretty sure modern science could study my emotions like a white blood cell count and diagnose me as terminally ill or clinically insane; functioning, but only just.
funny thing is i feel wonderful! today's favorite song is on repeat and the stench of wet dog is overpowering my room. that jerk decided to roll around in some sort of corrosive diarrhea/vomit mixture on our walk. life is good.
i'm an optimist. this means that i proudly wear a big, fat smile in the face of disgusting pets, an endless line-up of funerals and the inevitability of deep crow's feet around my eyes as a result. it also means i'm feeling anything and everything a person is capable of feeling, all at once, and that few people would ever guess at that fact. my poker face is that good. more than that, my resolve to enjoy every second of these cluttered, super-sonic days we're given is a life line. when, in a world like this, do i have the extra hours to waste away on shopping for things i will NEVER need and emptying my emotional reserves to feel sorry for myself?
my life overflows in abundance. i'm enjoying breath effortlessly. my toes are warm and my stomach full. i know without reservation that someone in this world loves and cares for me. my life barely has room to welcome more happiness with just these essentials! and still more happiness comes. in a world of opposition and pain there must be a resolute hope. i understand that both are necessary, give way for the other, aren't easy, etc. etc. blah, blah. but by understanding my role as someone who lives in a glass half full, i can bear whatever cocktail of life's experiences come my way.
to be honest, i never truly know what i'm feeling. savvy?
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